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Biased or not, I am currently working toward a few certification and I personally don't think they are crap. A certification has to be viewed in the context of a persons resume. If you have a formal education, plus work experience, the certifications are a written acknowledgment that you know (or can at least memorize) your stuff related to a particular subject. If you have no formal education, little to no work experience, the certifications are worthless.

If faced with a decision between hiring one of two people with a similar education and past work experience, I personally would lean toward the one with certifications. It shows dedication to their field and a willingness to study and learn new skills.

As everyone has already pointed out, it depends on the position. Personally, I doubt there are any certifications that would offer a worthwhile boost to me as a web developer, but I can think of a few that would be handy as an online marketing specialist. Honestly, the best thing I ever did for my developer resume wasn't getting certifications; it was including 10 pages of code at the end! ;)

Certs that are required by law make a difference.